Friday, January 30, 2009

How To Reupholst A Chair



photoshopped ...


soon add some of my artwork published and unpublished.



Nik
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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Wide Receiver Shoulderpads Terell Owens



Saturday, January 24, 2009

Pce Pl 2303 Driver Problem With Xp




Separation


Detachment, separation are recurrent themes in art, poetry, cinema .
"Do not leave me!" (Ne me quitte pas "), is a poignant cry that resonates in popular songs of all cultures, representing one of the deepest fears rooted in human nature: the loss of the love object.
The propensity to make and maintain intimate emotional relationships is written in our genetic heritage and present the first days of life, beginning in the form of innate reflexes (crying, sucking, grasping, orientation, smile) who will become, as a result of responses environment, increasingly sophisticated patterns of behavior.
The anguish of abandonment appears in the small child as soon as you realize you are not one with the mother. Not There is nothing more painful the cry of a baby when she sees her mother away, and fears that do not come back.
Separation anxiety has always been considered one of the first manifestations of childhood psychopathology, the basis of symptoms such as school phobia or fears that can cast a shadow on children, such as fear of parents' divorce.
Even in adults this atavistic feeling can emerge in a more or less violent in the face of loss, evoking the same sense of emptiness and anguish that precipitated by children.
The loss represents a "mourning" and can be seen as a serious threat to its existence, amputation a part of himself. It is often accompanied by the perception that it can not survive without the other, and a catastrophic vision of life and the world.
at this time may come to light unexpected hidden aspects of personality, panic attacks, depression or even blow up the madness.
This applies to the scenario as a backdrop to most crimes of passion, so why even come in the wake of disturbing feelings natural to the human race. It is often an unsuspecting people, respectable, covered by a blanket of normalcy, in which the loss of an emotional connection awakens primordial sentiments.
When the reaction to separation becomes pathological? The theme of the posting
touches the most sensitive chords of the human soul because it breaks one of the strongest instincts not only humans but also in some animal species: the attachment, the mother initially, then moved to the loved one.
"Attachment" is a term used in psychology to express the set of behaviors, thoughts, emotions-driven search for closeness, security and comfort from a privileged figure
The theory studies the processes through which we build those internal models which depend on how we relate in intimate ties, that is, as we represent the other, how we live ourselves, our expectations, our fears. Such schemes, which are built in small child (aged between 7 and 15 months) acting beyond the awareness and organize information relating to emotional relationships, resulting in what we bring to the attention that we give meaning to events, emotions that we generate, behaviors that we adopt in response. Attachment style reflects the uniqueness of each individual's expectations regarding the availability of others for the satisfaction of the need for security, closeness and sharing.
In this context play a significant role experiences between the child and the figure who takes care of him, because play a crucial role in construction of personal identity and way of relating to others.
Sometimes childhood experiences do not allow us to internalize the other as a secure base, stable and successful as a presence inside, undermining the construction of identity and individuality. The reaction
abandonment can become pathological when the first bond of attachment is not secure.

current experiences can evoke old wounds, making constellations resurgence of primitive anxieties, never metabolized, confirming expectations of treason, by the unreliability of the other and an image of himself as vulnerable, to be wounded, rejected reports.
The separation becomes not only loss of the loss itself but also as a person worthy of love.
The world suddenly becomes a desert devoid of meaning, where nothing is stable and every intimate relationship brings with it the specter of abandonment and unbearable pain that entails.
attachment styles are generally divided into four general categories:
Configurations of Type B (secure / autonomous)
Subjects safe / self-lived experiences of childhood protection, comfort, emotional sharing, which allowed him to build a base Safe. They recognize their need of others and their autonomy.
front of the separation can manage negative emotions, and have the confidence to find rewarding new relationships.
configurations of type C (enmeshed / preoccupied)
From the personal history of those entangled / preoccupied el'incostanza shows the unpredictability of the figures.
Trapped in their childhood experiences, they may experience severe anxiety in intimate relationships, with fears of abandonment and strong thrusts to the control and jealousy, or develop attitudes of dependency and complacency. They try to control the other with anger, to keep alive the attention even when they need it, alternating between aggressive behavior and request for contact and comfort.
There is a difficulty in creating an independent identity, to separate the past from the present, to integrate positive and negative feelings. These people's need to regulate their emotions and maintain a stable sense of self, so live with separation anxiety
extreme configurations of type A (distancing)
The internal model is built around these people rejecting a parent figure compared to their requests for comfort. The parent is not able to provide empathy, but only takes care of the child in practical needs. This child internalizes the parent's discomfort in front of intimacy and emotional contact and perceive the distance as the only way that this effectively for another. Distancing people affirm their independence and their strength. They are oriented to the task and try to do everything ourselves, with difficulties to seek help. They are characterized by good cognitive development and a frozen anger. They show an attitude away from intimate relationships which seek to minimize the importance, they may develop severe difficulties in communicating in terms of feelings, difficult to tolerate emotional closeness. The difficulty in recognizing and expressing emotions causes them to be somatization often resulting in physical ailments. Configurations
unresolved / disorganized (D): This category includes persons classified
in the previous three categories, differentiated only on the basis of the presence of unresolved grief or trauma, linked to child abuse, or unresolved grief in the life of a parent (mother's depression).
The tendency to approach and to leave that inhibit each other and the subject experiences emotions that overwhelm its capacity to organize a coherent behavior.
separations can evoke emotional states related to unresolved grief.

The type of attachment tends to be fairly stable, it can still change as a result of particularly significant experiences. Psychotherapy can provide a corrective emotional experience that can change the old patterns and break the vicious circles that renew the traumatic experiences of the past.

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AN OBSESSION WITH LOVE: emotional dependence
Dr. Barbara Court

Love, is the need and the ability to transcend ourselves and, together with another, creating a reality new. Sometimes, when you alter the 'balance between giving and receiving, including their shared border and space, love can be transformed, rather than an opportunity for growth and enrichment, in a cage with no prospect of escape, with walls made of pain. This is what happens when you slide into the emotional dependency. Emotional dependence is a pathological form of love characterized by chronic lack of reciprocity in emotional life, in which the individual, "the donor of love" one way, see in connection with another person, often problematic and elusive, the sole purpose of their lives and fill their emotional void.
not always the difference between love and emotional dependency is clear. It may even happen that the two phenomena are confused.
The key distinction lies in the degree of autonomy and its ability to find meaning in itself. Contrary to popular belief, love was born from the two units, not two halves. Just to be perceived in its entirety you can cancel without giving oneself without getting lost in the other. People with emotional dependency, not being independent, can not experience love in its depth and intimacy. The fear of abandonment, separation, loneliness generate a constant state of tension. The presence of the other is no longer a free choice but is experienced as a matter of life or death without the other does not have the perception to exist. I own needs and wishes are denied and canceled in a symbiotic relationship.
The emotional dependency, contrary to what sometimes appears to evidence, not a phenomenon that affects one person, but is a dynamic two. Sometimes the partners "Emotional dependency" is a difficult subject, which mask their emotional dependence with a drug addiction, alcohol or gambling. In this case the problems of the company becomes the justification to devote himself entirely to another in need, not taking the risk to live a life for himself.
Sometimes the loved one is rejecting, elusive or unattainable, for example, married or not interested in the report. In both cases the struggle is what seduces: the dependence feeds the desire to be loved by those who do not reciprocates in a satisfactory manner, and grows in proportion to the rejection, even if there were the latter, not the supposed love would last.
The person who has an emotional dependency usually stifles any desire and our own interests to look after the other but is inevitably disappointed and his love takes the form of resentment. At the same time fails to terminate the relationship, by virtue of what he calls "loving too much, not realizing that this behavior destroys the love which calls autonomy and reciprocity. In
emotional dependency, which is experienced as love becomes a drug. Symptoms of addiction are the same: inebriation
: the subject feels a sense of pleasure when she is with her partner, who can not get in other ways and that is essential for good health. 
tolerance: the individual seeks increasing amounts of time to devote to the partner, reducing their time more and more autonomous and contacts with the outside
 abstinence: the subject feels to exist only when there is the other, the His absence throws in a state of alarm. Think your life is unimaginable without the other. The other is seen as the only source of gratification, daily activities are neglected, the only important thing is the time spent with each other. 
inability to control their behavior: a reduction of lucidity and critical thinking that creates shame and remorse and in some moments is replaced by a temporary lucidity, followed by a sense of defeat and prostrante a relapse into addiction, which makes you feel more imminent than before their needs related to another. These processes are tinged with anger and guilt
Also, unlike drugs, which are more readily available, you can create an obsessive fear of losing a loved one, expressed jealousy and possessiveness, which feeds immeasurably to every small signal negatively perceived.
The paradoxical position that characterizes the emotional dependency is: "I can not stay with you" (for pain due to humiliation, abuse, betrayal) "it without you" (to the anguish at the thought loss).
The emotional dependency is rooted in the relationship with parents during childhood. People dependent children have received the message that were not worthy to be loved or that their needs were not important. These people usually come from families where emotional needs were neglected by virtue of material needs. The increase covers the wound but leave the insane. Through identification with the partner dependent people are trying to save themselves and overcome their lack of affection. In married life is reallocated more or less unconsciously, a role similar to that lived with his parents in an attempt to change the ending. The absence of the opportunity to experience a feeling of security in childhood raises the need to control the other, hidden behind an apparent tendency for aid.
The main problem in the resolution of emotional dependency is admitting you have a problem. There are indeed very thin boundaries between what is normal in a couple and what becomes addictive.
The difficulty in isolating the problem also lies in the distorted models of love that might suggest some abuse and sacrifice of himself as "normal."
Often, paradoxically, is the "hope" that does survive the problem which tends to be chronic: hope in a change impossible, especially in a relational context in which they have consolidated the scripts from which it is difficult to escape. Thus, paradoxically, the beginning of the change comes when you reach the bottom and they are experiencing the despair, which represents the possibility of burying the illusions that have long fed the pathological report.
E 'this is the time when you are more willing to seek help, and may be an opportunity to begin a process of psychological change, aimed at building emotional ties more fulfilling.

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No more panic attack panic

No more panic attack panic

What are the symptoms
Attack Panic is a very unpleasant and quite common (8% of the population). A body level
panic attack is characterized by symptoms such as tachycardia, choking, dizziness, dizziness head, flushing, chills, tremors, sweating.
a psychic level the panic attack is accompanied by a sudden terror, a sense of impending death or loss of control of their own ideas and actions and the fear of being on the verge of going crazy
In severe attacks the person may lose contact with reality (derealization) feeling like living in a different reality or not recognize it (depersonalization). The acute symptoms lasted for 15 to 30 minutes. The consequences of panic


Repeated panic attacks in the subject without fear of a fund which, if not tackled in time, you can make that would structure gradually a number of limitations. First, the subject will tend to avoid places and situations in which fear an attack may recur (such as driving, attend the supermarket, use the elevator). Subsequently arise fears of open spaces (agoraphobia), up to avoidance of social situations, fear of leaving home, isolation and depression.
You can also produce a state of constant concern for their health and fear having a serious cardiovascular disease. The message


The panic attack panic attack is essentially an experience of anguish pure and simple, seemingly dropped out of context and without any reference. Anxiety is a form of tension that is similar to fear, but differs from it because there is no exact knowledge of the case. In this way he has a paralyzing effect, rather than reactive, as it is a situation that can not be explained or cope with (apparently) and then feel helpless.
This is not necessary to satisfy themselves with the help of an expert to panic and affordable, understandable and fixable.

Stir the situation: the panic attack as a friend
The panic attack is not a sign detached from the context, a mysterious and dangerous enemy, but a sign that warns us that we are neglecting something within us or around us.
In this sense it can be a friend who gives us the opportunity to take a place ask about our emotions, which often do not listen, ignore or control too, allowing us to pause for a moment to reflect on how we can improve our well-being.
For more information: Dr. Barbara
Court via Aloysius Lilius, 19 Roma Cell: 320/3295200 e-mail: barbaracorte@virgilio.it